Not Okay
by CatLikesTea
Summary: Remus is injured and James is killed in a Death Eater attack. Here are Sirius and Lily in the aftermath. ONESHOT


**House: Ravenclaw**  
 **Category: Themed**  
 **Prompt: [Weather] Cloudy with a chance of rain**  
 **Word count: 2159**

The walls of the waiting room were a light pastel blue. It was supposed to be calming, Sirius knew that. A subtle colour, one to relieve stress from the people who would be sitting there, waiting, and hoping and dreading. It was a room where people were told the diagnosis of their loved ones. It was a room where people would sit with flowers, waiting to visit their sick grandparents or suchlike.

It was a room where people were told their loved ones were dead. Or dying.

That was supposedly why they chose the calming blue colour – but Sirius doubted he'd ever be able to look at anything blue the same way again.

The wall colour didn't seem to be working – Sirius could hear someone screaming, screaming and demanding to see their lover.

It took him a little while to realize that the person screaming was him.

Sirius collapsed on one of the navy chairs, his voice hoarse and his throat aching horribly. He felt defeated. The healers at St. Mungo's weren't sure if Remus was going to survive, and James… James was dead.

.

 _It was an unusually quiet evening in Lily and James' flat. The weather had been dull all day, with huge grey clouds all across the sky and so, not wishing to get drenched should it start to rain, Lily and the Marauders opted to stay inside all day. Peter wasn't around (some family gathering) so it might have been what you could call a double date. They'd ordered pizza and were watching one of Lily and Remus' favourite muggle films, 'The Breakfast Club'. Remus was laying with his head on Sirius' lap and, on the other side of the bed, James and Lily were being, as per usual, sickeningly sweet, feeding each other popcorn._

 _The movie ended, and Remus got up to switch off the television. Once he'd done so, he went to draw the curtains. There were still quite a few heavy-looking clouds in the sky but it hadn't yet begun to rain. As he grabbed hold of the curtains, he noticed a few black-robed figures appear just outside the house. A couple of cracks later and there was a whole group of them, heading towards the door._

 _"Crap," Remus said, turning away from the window._

 _"What is it, Moony? Sirius asked, sitting up, alert._

 _"Death Eaters. About five of them. They're heading towards the house. All of you, hide, they can't know we're here."_

 _"They could just cast a scan over the house to see if we're here. We have to fight," Sirius whispered urgently. They heard a sharp rapping on the door. They didn't have much time._

 _"The wards will prevent them from casting anything like that. Please, Sirius, we're running out of time."_

 _Sirius hesitated, then nodded. "Fine." He cast a disillusionment charm over the four of them and made towards the curtains. "James, Lily, you take the cloak." He looked into Remus' eyes intensely. "Stay safe," he said, his voice trembling with suppressed emotion._

 _Remus opened the door to the wardrobe just as the front door was blasted open._

.

Sirius couldn't stand it. He didn't know how he was going to survive without his best friend. He stood up and punched the _stupid blue wall_. Blue wasn't a happy colour, blue was melancholy, used to represent sadness. Blue reminded him of Remus – it was his favourite colour after all – and how he might not come out of this alive either.

Sirius looked down at his clenched fist. It was coated in a layer of blood, his knuckles split. The red stained the blue wall, but Sirius couldn't bring himself to care. Red was – had been - James's favourite colour. It wasn't even because he was in Gryffindor – James just thought it looked cool.

.

 _"You two check down here, we'll look upstairs," a gruff voice called, and immediately Remus heard the footsteps of people walking up the stairs. This whole situation reminded him, in a twisted way, of hide and seek. A very sinister game of hide and seek where losing meant death, or worse, torture. After all, they had information which was too valuable for the Death Eaters to pass up. Remus guessed that was probably why they were there._

 _The door opened slowly. "Where aaare yooou?" a drawling voice called in a sing-song manner. Remus brought his eye to the crack in the wardrobe and stifled a gasp when he saw who was standing there. Fenrir Greyback was leering and baring his yellowed teeth as he stood in the doorway, his clawed hands carving grooves in the wooden door. Unfortunately, the werewolf's hearing didn't miss Remus' tiny gasp, and stalked towards the wardrobe, like a predator hunting his prey._

 _"What do we have here then?" Greyback called. Remus pushed himself firmly to the back of the wardrobe as the doors opened._

 _The werewolf seemed to be enjoying himself immensely as he swiped around blindly. Although the disillusionment charm meant Remus couldn't be seen, he hadn't lost his solidity, so when Greyback's sharp claw grazed his cheek, he knew he was royally fucked._

 _"Finite incantatem," Greyback said, and Remus paled as the charm was lifted. He grabbed Remus's shoulder, pulling him into the light. Greyback then grasped Remus's hair and yanked his head back. Then, he slowly pulled down the neckline of Remus' t-shirt to expose the bite on his shoulder that had ruined his life forever._

 _"Why, it's the young werewolf," Greyback smiled, his feral grin growing even wider. "Tell me, werewolf, where are your friends?" Remus felt the tip of a wand being pushed into the back of his neck. He stayed quiet, his fury for the man fuelling his defiance._

 _"No? A little persuasion, perhaps?_ Crucio _."_

 _Remus fell to the ground as the agonizing pain took over his body. It was worse than any pain he'd ever felt. It was even worse than the pain he experienced every month on the full moon. He bit his lip until it bled, before giving in and screaming. It was too much._

 _"Remus!" Sirius appeared from behind the curtain brandishing his wand at Greyback. "Stop it! Stop it now!"_

 _Greyback lifted the curse. "Ah, someone who actually has the information we're looking for." He looked at Remus and shrugged. "Guess we won't be needing this one any more then."_

 _"No!" Sirius yelled, his voice cracking, as Greyback leaned over Remus and bit into his neck. All Remus felt was a sharp pain before he lost consciousness and blacked out._

.

Sirius registered someone weeping softly next to him and turned towards the mess of red hair that was Lily Evans. Her mascara was dripping freely down her cheeks and her nose was running, though she made no effort to wipe it. He couldn't help but notice how her hair clashed horribly with the blue walls. The red colour was too painful to look at, as it reminded him of James, so he focused on the opposite wall. That was a little better.

"Lily…" Sirius felt a wave of guilt wash over him. He wasn't the only one worrying for Remus and he certainly wasn't the only one grieving James.

"It – it's fine, Sirius." She wiped her nose with her sleeve. "The healers did all they could. We just got here too late. They couldn't possibly have saved him."

Sirius wrapped his arms around her. He wanted so badly to tell her everything would be okay, but he knew that wouldn't happen for a long time yet. Instead, he held Lily as she sobbed in earnest.

"W-why did it have to be James?" she mumbled into his shoulder. "He is… was-" she let out a strangled gasp. "The kindest, funniest, bravest man… He died protecting me! I should have stopped it, it should have been me."

"Lily! There was nothing we could have done. He's – he's _gone_." Sirius was also crying freely now.

"That curse… that curse he used on James-"

"The sectumsempra one?"

"Yeah," Lily spoke softly, her voice almost a whisper. "Severus invented it."

.

 _Sirius rushed to Remus' side immediately and put a hand to the side of Remus' neck to try and stop the flow of blood. Within seconds, his sleeve was soaked._

 _"Oh Merlin, Remus…" He checked Remus's pulse. It was weaker than usual, but still there. He cast a spell to clot the blood and hopefully stop any further blood loss._

 _He then turned back to Greyback, realising his disillusionment charm had worn off, which meant James and Lily's had too. The werewolf was already swiping underneath the bed, and it wasn't long before one of his grimy nails snagged the invisibility cloak._

 _"What's this then?" The werewolf smirked, before grabbing Lily's arm and dragging her out. "If I'm not mistaken, you must be the mudblood."_

 _Lily spat in his face._

 _"This one's feisty isn't she?" Greyback smirked again. "Pretty, though. It's almost a shame that we'll have to get rid of her." He brought his mouth close to her ear. "The Dark Lord doesn't want people like you dirtying our ranks." He tilted his head. "Why don't we see how dirty your blood really is?"_

 _"Sectumsempra!"_

.

"He always was into the dark arts wasn't he?"

"Yes, but… That was horrible, Sirius! It – it practically ripped him to shreds." Her voice was lower than a whisper now, and Sirius had to strain to hear her. "There – there was so much blood. _So_ much blood. Why would he invent something like that?"

"I don't know, Lily. I don't know."

The two sat in silence. Somehow, the pastel blue was working and Sirius felt slightly calmer than before.

"It just seems so surreal doesn't it?" He found himself saying.

"Yes," Lily agreed. "Two and a half hours ago James was alive. We were happy. I know this seems naïve – we are in the middle of a war after all – but I never thought this would happen to us. _Never_."

"Me neither. I'm… sorry."

"Me too."

.

 _Lily hadn't moved quickly enough. But someone else had. She found herself pushed to the floor as the spell hit James square in the chest._

 _There hadn't been many cuts at first. Maybe it wasn't such a bad spell, she found herself thinking, but she thought too soon. They wove across his chest like ribbons, each one getting deeper as the spell continued to work. She had tried desperately to close the cuts but there were too many, and she couldn't seem to stop them appearing._

 _"James. James! Stay with me, stay with me," she begged. There were tears rolling down her cheeks thick and fast._

 _"It's okay, Lily. I love you," James rasped, his voice barely a whisper._

 _"James!" Lily screamed, her voice panicked. "Don't say that! You'll be fine. Y-you'll be fine."_

 _"You're beautiful you know, Lily? Like a flower. A-a Lily flower." He smiled his cocky smile, but his teeth were coated in blood._

 _"I've stupefied Greyback, Lily. We need to get past the apparition point and take these two to St. Mungo's," Sirius said urgently, a note of panic in his voice._

 _Lily followed him, though something inside her knew the light had already gone out from James' eyes._

.

"I just – I don't know how I'll live without him."

"Me neither, Lily flower."

Lily tensed. "Don't call me that."

"I'm sorry."

"It's… it's okay. It's just - it was the last thing James said to me."

Sirius was silent. "I think the last thing he said to me was 'pass the popcorn, Sirius, so I can feed it to my girlfriend.'"

Despite herself, Lily smiled. "Touching."

"That always was James. Always emotional, always heartfelt."

Lily giggled, then covered her mouth quickly with her hand. Sirius removed it, gently.

"I'm sorry… It just feels wrong to laugh after…"

"Hey, that's not what James would want though is it?"

Lily lowered her eyes. "I guess not."

Just then, the door to their left opened - the one to the room Remus was in. Before the Healer was even completely out the room, Sirius stood up quickly.

"How is he?"

"Mr Lupin is very lucky. If you hadn't cast that blood clotting charm when you did, he wouldn't be with us right now."

Sirius let out a breath of relief and hugged Lily, who was trembling, tears in her eyes.

"What's wrong, Lils?" Sirius asked worriedly.

"A blood clotting charm! Why didn't I think of that?" she said slightly hysterically.

Sirius shook his head. "Don't blame it on yourself. There were far too many cuts. It would never have worked."

"I – okay. Okay. Let's go see Remus." Lily strode ahead of Sirius into Remus's room. Sirius watched her with a heavy heart.

Maybe things weren't okay. Maybe they weren't going to be okay for a very long time. But as Sirius walked into the room with aquamarine walls, something told him they would be eventually.


End file.
